Day 7

Oh goodness. I am so sorry I have been neglecting my blog. I dont do it on purpose! Its just I have so much going on. I'll inform all of you whats going on after this. Right now Im going to do a letter. I wanna hurry up and finish these.

dear ex:
dear girl I hate:d
ear someone I love:
dear ex bestfriend:
dear bestfriend:
dear mom:
dear dad:
dear old me:
dear new me:

Don't worry about what everyone else has to say to you. You're Beautiful beyond belief. Sure things right now aren't the greatest but I promise that it all gets better.  You'll lose the majority of your friends by your Senior year in high school but don't worry. You just know who is really there for you. Don't worry about finding a guy. You'll meet one hell of a guy who will change everything you could possibly believe in. Scary I know, but you'll be happy I promise you that. Try not to make mom too upset when you tell her you wasn't to move. She's is just looking out for you. And try not to hate the world so much. There tons of people out there who are full of shit. Try being a little nicer to people. Sure you'll be one to speak your mind, whether or not you believe it. But sometimes words can hurt people. You wont care for a while. But you'll understand when the time comes. People will lie to you, a lot. But you know when they are. Trust me you'll be good at looking into things and knowing the truth for yourself. Try not to want to grow up so fast. Things get harder than you can imagine. Don't lose sight of your goals and dreams. You may not know what you want to do now, but you will in a couple of years. And its something you enjoy doing. Don't let anyone tell you anything about yourself. You are you, and that's that. You're an amazing person and people will love you. Don't change for nobody.

Forever, you.

Day 6

Okay everyone, I'm sorry that I haven't been writing lately. Like I said I actually do have a life. And I'm sorry to say that this will probably be the only post of the weekend until Sunday night (maybe). This one will be a good one.. hopefully.

dear ex:
dear girl I hate:
dear someone I love:
dear ex bestfriend:
dear bestfriend:
dear mom:
dear dad:
dear old me:
dear new me:

Dad, where do I even begin? You were my hero for the longest time, and now I feel like I'm starting to see the person that you really are. Not that you're all that bad of a person, but I'm seeing more of who everyone claimed you were. And I cant say that I'm really liking it. I love you a lot, and I always will. But you no longer have control over me like when I was younger and I think that scares you. Not that you ever had control over me since I've never lived with you. But you were always clued in about my life, and now you're not. I know about 2 years ago you really wanted me to move in with you, and I hurt and upset you that I didn't. But I think I would have to say that me not moving was a smart decision. I wouldn't be where I am in my life, and I don't think I would be able to deal with that. We've gone through a lot being together. I remember when things would be just about me and you when I would visit you. Now that we know where Brandon is when hes around it's about  him too, you've got your girlfriends two daughters and there always around, and now there is Jennifer a sister I didn't know about until a year ago.. I miss how things used to be. And yes, I am well aware that things change, but I don't think I could tell you the last time me and you have done anything just us because now there are just so many kids and it wouldn't be fair to spend the money on just me. But like I said, I guess times change. Soon I'm going to start be getting the money from SS and mom is afraid I'm going to blow it. I wont. I know I need to save it. But once I graduate I wont be getting money anymore, from SS that is. You have to keep paying me Child Support until I'm 21. Not that you pay it. I don't know when I'm going to talk to you about that, but I need to do it soon. I'm afraid that you're going to be upset with me because I told the school I didn't want them to be able to contact you anymore. Yeah, I know for sure you'll be mad over that. Now, you'll no longer be able to contact any of my teachers and vice versa. But I'm tired of hearing everyone bitch and complain about MY life and my decisions especially when and what I do in school. I understand that you and mom are just looking out for me, but I'm old enough and more mature to do things on my own now. Trust me you and mom have raised a great, responsible, mature girl. And I really feel like you and mom don't think or believe in me. And that really upsets me to say that. But trust me, Ill prove both of you wrong.

From, your little girl.

Day 5

Now back on track with my daily letters.

dear ex:
dear girl I hate:
dear someone I love:
dear ex bestfriend:
dear bestfriend:
dear mom:
dear dad:
dear old me:
dear new me:

Mom. I'm sorry for being the unruly teen that I am. Which I wouldn't say I'm really that unruly. Its just I don't want to listen to your rules. Yet again what teen does. I feel like I get it pretty hard compared to most for the fact you're a cop and you're 24/7 in my business. That's something I cant change. Honestly, I don't see me really keeping in contact with you when I move out or do my own thing. Just for the fact Ive had no choice to deal with you for 18 years of my life, and it was annoying. You never really let me do much because you felt that I was doing bad things. You always feel that I'm doing bad things just because you're a cop and you think you know how all teens act. But really, I'm probably one of the best ones out there that don't get in trouble. I know a couple of years back when I told you I didn't want to live with you anymore and I was going to move to FLA it really hurt your feelings. But you made me mad, you never let me do anything because you thought I was doing bad things. That the problem I have with you. You assume all the time and its annoying. I hate how you always try to be in my business and ask me questions all the time about everything. Honestly if I wanted you to know my life Id tell you. But I don't. Cause all you would do is judge and that's not what I want. I'm not going to lie, Ive think you raised a really good girl, and you taught me to always do the right thing. And I appreciate that a lot. But somethings I just cant over look, like the way you used to verbally abuse me. Its whatever now because you don't do it and I know I'm better than that. And maybe that's where my problems start with you, I don't know. Just remember though, Ill always be you're daughter.

Sincerely, you're youngest child.

Something that is so sad to say.

My Best friend, or used to be best friend. I don't know what he would consider me right now gets on my nerves so much.

Honestly he is a cry baby, and everything has to go his way. Like come on now, you're 17 turning 18 in a month and you still get mad because nothing ever goes your way or if you gets your feelings hurt. I'm sorry but you really need to grow up and realize that the world does not involve around you.

I think its pretty pathetic that he's also ignoring my boyfriend who has been his best friend for I don't know how long all because he's mad at me for giving him an opinion that HE ASKED ME for.

How dumb can he be to get mad over an opinion that he asked for. Honestly if he didn't want the truth, which of all people he asked, me, he should know that I'm going to give him an honest opinion and I'm not going to worry if I hurt his feeling or not. Because best friends can usually do that.

Sometimes I feel like he's are worse than a girl. He needs to do us all a favor and stop being a little cry baby and GROW UP. I really don't think I can say it enough.

I'm not going to say anything to him, I'm not even going to apologize for saying the truth and my opinion. I didn't do anything wrong. And I happen to think that it is really fucked up that his girlfriend, who was once my best friend, wont talk to me now because he's mad at me.

I know this is mean, but he's pathetic. And he really makes me mad. I'm sure if this all blows over, everything will be fine for the rest of Senior year, but I can guarantee you we wont be friends after. I cant deal with how he is anymore. Its gets on my nerves. Everything has to be about him.

Not to mention that his sister who used to be my best friend now also hates me because of what I said. When a lot of people hate me for what I said. But I bet that they don't know that HE was the one that ASKED ME for MY OPINION. I'm sure he just told them all that I straight up I said something mean when I didn't.

But honestly it doesn't bother me. I don't really need him as a friend or any of the other people that are on 'his side' because I'm such a horrible person. I wont talk to them after this school year anyway. So no matter how this ends, it wont affect me.

Sorry everyone, just a rant I'm going on because I honestly came to the conclusion that I don't like my best friend. Let me rephrase that, I like him, just not the way he goes about certain things. But oh well. Not my problem anymore. I don't care, yet again I don't care about much.

Day 4

I know I haven't blogged since Thursday. Ive been busy. Sue me, I actually have a life. But I'm tired so be thankful I'm doing this. For whoever somehow finds my writings.

Today is best friend. It actually took me a while to figure this one out. Simple for the fact I don't have any best friends. Other than my boyfriend, but he has no choice but to be my best friend. But after a talk today with someone, it made it very clear who it is.

dear ex:
dear girl I hate:
dear someone I love:
dear ex bestfriend:
dear bestfriend:
dear mom:
dear dad:
dear old me:
dear new me:
Bestfriend, what can I honestly say about you? I guess I could start with the reason and fact of why we are best friends. We're the perfect bestfriends because we view friendships the same exact way. We realize that we don't have to be shoved up each others ass 24/7 to be considered best friends. We realize that we have our own lives separate from each other, and we realize that we both have our own boyfriends so obvisoluly its hard for us to spend a lot of time talking other than when we're at school. That's the kind of friendship I loveeeeee. Maybe that's why me and you have lasted being friends for so long. That and well, maybe for the fact my mom actually likes you. :p Lets see, our beautiful friendship started all because of Ryan. :) I tried so hard to get you hooked up with him in 7th grade. Those we're the good years. I know even though we enjoy how everything is now-a-days, we would give anything to go back to 2007 when we were all still together. I love our friendship because even though we don't talk all the time when we do, its like nothing has changed and we're just picking up to where we left off. You're always there for me, and you understand me really well. Which is what I need in my life. I need people who understand me. I don't have time to explain myself. I love how we have our little lesbian ways, and how we believe that more than half the school thinks we're gay for each other because we're constantly grabbing one anothers private parts, but we do it for the fun. ;) This is our last year in school together and I really don't know what Im going to do without you.. I know you will only be a call away, but I'm scarred that we'll drift apart. But I know that it'll be okay, because I know that no matter what we'll just pick up to where we left off. Because that's what we do. We act like nothings changed and we just continue forward. I want you to know that no matter what I will always be here for you. I know you go through a lot in your life but if you ever need me, like I said each of us is only a call away. Well, we have 6 months left in school but I really feel like Im writing something that will go in your yearbook so its making me a little teary eyed (don't worry, what I write will be a million times better than this. That way every time you read it you cry, lol). But I need to end this before I start bawling my eyes out. We need to make this last 6 months count. We need to make it unforgettable like the rest of our friendship. We need to make it count.

I'll always be here when you need a friend. Love you forever, your bestfriend.

Day 3

I'm going to skip someone I love for the end. I have too much on my mind right now to attempt to write that one. So Ill go ahead and do Ex Bestfriend. It'll probably be a long one, so prepare yourself.

dear ex:
dear girl I hate:
dear someone I love:
dear ex bestfriend:
dear bestfriend:
dear mom:
dear dad:
dear old me:
dear new me:

You know, I wouldn't say that I really regret our friendship. I mean all in all, we had some really good times. But I guess the more you are around someone the better you get to know them, and I think that's what happened to us. Honestly I think if we were to be in a room together by ourselves, I'd probably try to murder you from all the shit that you've tried pulling in the past 3 years. You're an attention whore, and everything has to be about you 24/7. With all the rumors about my boyfriend (your ex, not the same girl from the girl I hate letter) you started, to the shit talking about me and all the other friends you've lost that have been my friend way before you've ever met them, you deserve all the shit that happens in your life. I'm sorry, and I know that's mean. How can someone go from being best friends to thinking something like that? Well, like I said, I feel like you just love to have everything about you, and when its not you find some way to make it about you. Its really not that cool. If you were at all smart, like I know that you actually are you'd realise that you have lost more than 5 friends within the past 5 years. If you would think about it, maybe that means there is something wrong with you and maybe you should change your attitude about somethings. The other day you got into a so called 'fight' at school. Personally (not even for the fact it was with my best friend) I wish you would have gotten the shit beat out of you. I think just one time someone needs to show you up. It wont be me. The drama I have with you is gone, and I could careless about you and the choices you make today. Its upsetting that things ended the way they did. And its not like it was over anything major, but I guess one thing led to another and things just started to build up. I really hope that as you get older you learn that you're life is what you make it and you don't always have to be involved in drama like you always are. I hope you grow up and become mature. Even though we are no longer friends and never will be, I hope you find you're way in this world and it ends up being everything and more for you.

From a friend you'll never get back due to everything.

Day 2

Most people didn't do girl I hate, because they all said they didn't hate people. That's stupid. Weather or not anyone wants to admit it, we all hate someone.

dear ex:
dear girl I hate:
dear someone I love:
dear ex bestfriend:
dear bestfriend:
dear mom:
dear dad:
dear old me:
dear new me:

Well, I hate you a lot, and you know it. And honestly, throughout all the shit you put me and my boyfriend through I wouldn't accept an apology from you, ever. Everyone thought you were so nice, coming from a different country and all. But I was one of the few who actually got to see the side of who you really are. Don't think just because you aren't from America you get special treatment now, that's not how it works. You earn trust and respect, you don't just automatically get it. Even though I did bless you with it. You still messed it up. We only ever hung out outside of school 2 times one time at Walmart where I almost fought you, I wanted to fight you so bad. I should have hit you too. You deserved it for talking shit on people you don't even know. And the second time at my boyfriends (your boyfriend at the time) birthday party. I hope the only reason why you were allowed to go was because you promised you would be on your best behavior and not say anything to me. Because honestly, if you would have said one thing to me, I don't care if my boyfriends family was there, I would have hit you. It was pretty pathetic and shitty what you did. You came in and took MY 'BESTFRIEND' at the time, away from me.. honestly what gave you the right to even do that? You weren't here long enough to even know me, but because you were jealous and felt threatened you felt the need to destroy my life for 3 months. Everyone knows that what you did was a little fucked up, and that's why you almost got in trouble with the school. Like I said, just because you came from a different country doesn't mean you get treated differently than an American. And like I said, even if you came to me today for forgiveness, I wouldn't forgive you. You're are dead to me, plain and simple. Someday, even though I know you never will, I hope you read this. That way maybe you could just see how much you piss me off.

Have a good night, from a hater (and proud to be one)